going badoodles

There are times in life when even the happiest people feel sad and even those who think that life is always fair will begin to doubt.  Strange things happenn, faith wanes and trust begins to fade. Then the heart starts to fall so deep into the pain… and then love starts to wonder where the spark has gone.

I always want to believe that life is fair and that someday, after all the hardships and trials of everday human existence… i will never fall into the trap of sadness and of being tired of being alive.

Recently, my work has been taking its toll on me. It feels as if i am being responsible for something more than i can handle. I have been working late on weekdays and doing overtime on weekends, but it does not matter, i am happy with what i am doing.

I have been happy all along… until recently i got sick! Yes people i got sick but i had to be in the office and perform my administrative duties and try as hard as i can to pretend that i am well and i can manage.

But no matter how devoted i am with my work it comes to a point when God tells it to my face that it is not worth it… and it never will! Somehow there will always be someone who will look for loopholes and bury me deep into my living hell.

For all it is worth i have been sincere and honest with my duties and ever careful not to tamper with my position but no matter how hard i try to work on a clean slate my effort will never be enough.

The boss i have admired for so long has turned out to be human complete with all the imperfections, but somehow i wish she saw me in a better light.  I could probably be the best she could find in the workforce out there but i wish she would have been right to let me go.

Mybebe may be right after all… i am qualified for better and more sensible careers out there!