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Tough Love November 19, 2008

Posted by bebenibadoodles in Workaholic Bebe.

People in this life come and go.  Some leave footprints along the way that serve as lessons to harden our shell in preparation for tougher times ahead.

Time waits for no one and the risk of failing or succeeding solely depends on how we maneuver our life.  Afterall, everything we do is a matter of choice and not purely of destiny.  In a few weeks time, i shall be taking on a more mature and responsible adult role.  Leaving the Company and the people who have opened my eyes to the many perks as well as the harshest realities of life in the big city is somehow sending me mixed signals and emotions, but one thing remains firm and comforting – that i will be sheltered by my young family from the degradation and undue disturbance that i have been trying to struggle with for the past months.

Looking back, i have practically spent all my working years trying to satisfy the demands of my Job as well as the unforgiving attitude of the Authorities and Colleagues that i have to deal with everyday. 

But at the end of the day when all the problems and the issues of being a worker ends, only one thing remains the same – the assurance and the warm comfort of being home and sheltered from all the harsh realities of life.

Badoodles always tells me that “Everything Outside of our Home is Temporary.”  My colleagues, friends and even my job will all be gone someday, but i should always look inside my heart and find that there is a family waiting for me.

Suddenly, the impact of leaving my job became a lot less heart breaking and i am now looking forward to a life with our forthcoming angel and the chance to be able to return to work again.

My office mates have heard the word “Tough Love” from me maybe a hundred or more times than they would want to hear it specially when i want to emphasize something really important.

An experience today reminded me of this important phrase.  We are currently conducting a week long training session for our Company’s Stakeholders as part of their migration into a new Contract Platform. 

 It is the 13th Batch from the time we opened the Course last year.  It starts on a Monday and ends Friday afternoon.  Lo and behold at 2:35PM today which is a Wednesday, a couple arrived and the woman was making our nose bleed with her “slang english” unmindful that she is 3 days late for the course.

Then here i come telling her that they can no longer be accommodated since the discussion of the Contract has been finished as of Monday and she has been advised about it Tuesday Morning, but she insisted on attending anyway.

She started ranting that it has been a hassle for her to travel all the way to where we are only to be sent home. 

But i had to remain standing on my ground to tell her that she is no longer allowed to join the course for 2 Major Reasons: they are 3 days late and the session for the afternoon is almost done and all the Major Lecture topics have already been discussed.

To accommodate them will just be a waste of their time and effort since the succeeding days will already be the practical application of the theories that have been discussed of the past three days, which obviously she missed.

Little Miss Snooty threw her visitors pass on the counter and as much as she wanted to rant more, she decided not to anymore.

Tough love.  Sometimes, we wish we could pamper the people around us with goodness, but there are times when you have to be cold hearted if they are to learn their valuable lessons in life.

I will be moving on to a better state of life after this year, but i would like to leave with the firm belief that i have somehow imparted invaluable lessons about love and life to the people around me, just as this Company and its people have taught me to be humble all the time even when it means swallowing my ego and closing my eyes to the injustice that surrounds me.

For sure, i will be stepping out of their shadow and out into the world as a better person, no longer marred by their culture, but equipped with enough wisdom, courage and hope to make me a better person.


educating a fetus November 11, 2008

Posted by bebenibadoodles in Mental Detour.

Recently, my attention has been drawn to searching for old acquiantances, whoever i can find online. I am not Miss Congeniality and i pride myself in just a handful of friends that i don’t really get to see that often due to geographical reasons.

The feeling of seeing old Law School Classmates in their Graduation Gown is quite refreshing. After 4 years of reading, graded recitations and being grilled by our Law School Professors, they finally made it…. or should i say some of them finally made it!

We started the school year with 37 beaming spirits all saying that their vision is to become a lawyer. By the end of the semester, only 17 brave souls remained. The number started to thin with the passing of days. Faces come and go…

As for me, i stayed only until the second semester of my Sophomore year. Enough of me fooling myself into believing that this is what i want. I never enjoyed history when i was in High School, why fool myself and ardently believe that i will be a good lawyer.

I may make it to the end of the course, but passing the Bar and actually getting into the practice is another story… that is far beyond human possibility!

Law School has been my greatest achievement in this life. Passing and failing one subject after the other was like playing a game of cards. I sucked big time in Criminal Law, but it is with great pride and conviction that i claim a grade of 85 in my final grade in the Law On Property.

Not to mention that i have become the Dean’s pet. The old lady loved me after i excused myself from our Class in Obligations and Contracts without her permission because i had to attend to a so – called “emergency” in the office which has just been made up by my foolish work mates.

Hey, why did i not have the nerve to remember that i was already out of office and i am in class pretending to understand the provisions of the law.

The rest is history as they say because after a hearty talk in her office, i became her instant favorite. My recognition in the College of Law started from her calling me Miss Maguire (in perfect pronunciation) to First Lady in our Sophomore Year when Badoodles emerged as the Law School Government President.

I had the time of my life in Law School. Juggling every single second of the day between working full time as the Events Coordinator in one of the busiest hotels in our province and trying to be fit for grilling in school gave me the adrenaline rush that i needed.

But every major ambition has its own price. I layed low with everything at the same time and decided that working for a hotel and being a Lawyer are not part of my dreams.

Priorities change and so does my ambitions.

The following year, i started to feel bored living in the province. My life did not turn out the way i would have imagined it to be. There was no room for growth and progress. I felt stuck in the ruthole, being treated at home like an oversized toddler.

The adrenaline rush exhausted me…. so i moved on and found myself in the training department of a Petroleum Company.

Life could have never been better than it already is…. but i am still restless.

There must be something else i need to do out there. My life has greater purpose than this. Maybe i am destined to be something else.

The search for the satisfaction of my thirst for Professional Stability goes on. Somehow, i still have time to search for what will truly satisfy my passion.

I will never become a Supermodel i know that. My dreams of being a Beauty Queen will have to take a back seat. But life starts where dreams end.

Despite the cruel fact that i shall never be what i have always wanted to become, i can still fulfill other ambitions that i have kept in my heart for so long.

Yes folks, i am old enough to be a Wife and a Mother, but it is never too late to dream…. and make them a part of my reality!